Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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