Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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