yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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