what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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