He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can't turn off my feet"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
