i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my shit smells like andre
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
