you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
