the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
