just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
