Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
