You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
