I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
