just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Watching her eat just hurts me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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