Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
