i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
