dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
