What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
