I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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