yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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