Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he puts the penis in happiness.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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