Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
