Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
