Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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