she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
