All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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