New low: just hacked my moms facebook
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
