she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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