morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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