i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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