So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
