All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
