yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
