hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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