Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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