Can i not drive my cunt home
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
