I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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