But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
