I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
