we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
