There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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