I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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