Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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