i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
