I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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