I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
