I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
