You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
