i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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