No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
