I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
