16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
is it fun? or sober?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
