her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
