Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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