The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
