the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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