I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Houston, we have a blender
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
